I remember you telling me that you'll bring me out for a trip to the zoo . I remember you telling me that you'll write letter for me as I'm always the one writing for you . I remember you begging me on the phone to come and stay over at your place cos you were half drunk that night and need my hug that badly before you could get to sleep . I remember you apologizing that you can't be the man of my life as I'm too good for you . I remember all those wonderful moments that we both had shared . & I remember the heartbreaks' on our first monthsary too ...
All the time,I see us smiling like there's no tomorrow .Yet i did not expect to see us falling and tearing together on our first . Remember you whispering that you loved me so much ? And I told you that i really want all this to last cos' I want to stay with you forever ? I'll definitely miss that moment of us the most . I'll miss those time waiting for you to knock off & headed to your place to stay over . I'll miss those nights when you need my hug to sleep , & even count down to 10 just to have that hug from me . I'll take you as my example when it's necessary to share my experiences with others . & I'm proud to say that i have you ,Jason Ong Ml , to be once my lover .
At least , for the past 3-4months of trying to capture your heart and was "unofficially" yours, I think my effort was paid off as I did it-for you to try loving me like the way i do. My 1111 wishes was granted but too bad it did not last for long . I thank you for those memories even though i would say it's still hard to move on . But i know we both need time . Right from the start , we know that we're rushing things out . & Nothing seemed to be going our way .
"Maybe , you just worth someone better. " Yup, i remember you telling me that . But now, I'm telling this back to you cos' you've already found the right one just right from the start but you choose not to accept her in your life. Even though you told me that it's already the past between you and her but however, things doesn't turned out to be that way. You keep insisting that I'm too good for you till you cant find any flaws in me ,but seriously I just think that you're already good enough to be my future . But, It's okay .Maybe i just have to accept the fact that you tried your best and it's only fated for us to be once together and not that kind of meant-to-be that i ever had desire .I shall let the fate decides ya ?Since nobody would ever predict or expect what will happen next in both our future life? Maybe ,I'll be waiting secretly and silently for you. Or perhaps , I'll try to move on without you in my life. Yes,this is life. Life's never made to be perfect for the both of us or everyone out there who's suffering the same situation as me.
Remember i told you : With every passing moment , i think of one more reason why i love you ?Today , 1111, I'll wish for nothing . Today , I love you even though it's already over between us . Or maybe today , I should stop loving you because she's loving you as much as I do . Maybe , I will still put that little hope on this relationship . I tried to salvage it but to no avail . The world's going against me just for that period of time . Everyone starts to agitate me indirectly with their harsh and sarcastic words . Just by trying to convince me to give up on him, they could actually do anything and everything for him .But , i do not blame anyone of them . In fact , I appreciate them , especially Jon( if he gets to read this), for telling me the truth earlier than i could had expected.Because I know you guys would never want to hurt me and would not want to drag this any longer .
But you know? You guys will never know how special is he to me . Maybe ya , I'm always saying such stuffs after every break ups with my ex boyfriends. But i swear this time round, it's really a different case . He's really too special in my eyes . Not with his looks but with his heart . The way he's treating me - He showered me with love,care and concern . This kind of feeling , is not just a figment of infatuation, but it's for real -l o v e. I had never experience or feel like this before . It's real unexplainable why I love him so much . The love I got from him, his brothers and espcially from his mum; ...
& Never will i ever forget , that this is the first "love at first sight" feeling and scenario that I'm experiencing throughout my17 years life . If you guys believe that there's such thing as miracle or fate , definitely at times, you'll tend to be over confident with your words and thinking that everything was filled with high hopes . But if you don't ,just try to trust this verse/phrase/quote " Love at first sight " . Cos' seriously there's such thing/ feeling exist in this world . & That actually happen to me once in my life.Which leads me to feel the real happiness that I've been yearning for when I'm with him .
Today , 11th November 2010 . I suppose it should be a very special and unique day/date for both Jason and I . "1111" , or rather our 2nd monthsary . Yet the truth is we had already ended a month ago . I'm sorry to hide the truth for a month from you guys.I'm also deceiving myself from reality .I'm just trying to avoid all those questionings and resisting myself from breaking down all the time . I can't afford to think about it anymore. I've to immune this pain asap . After that breakup , I thought i need his soul and presence to motivate me and to pull me through for my major O lvl examinations.However,...
So Readers , now that it's already over, I hope that you guys could spare a thought for me and avoid from asking me about this. Yes i may be stupid to treat myself like this but who cares? Seriously , I don't find a need to explain the whole of my love story here to you guys. & I guess I'm not going to entertain anyone out there unless you could prove to me that you're worth my time to explain things out to you?Stop bullshitting alright .If not , just give the both of us some personal space of our own .
"I love you more than you love me " , & that's the truth -just right from the start ...
We're just like centrepoint and cuppage. Both buildings are near but just can't be stick close together.
Haha .Takecare , :)
We're just like centrepoint and cuppage. Both buildings are near but just can't be stick close together.
Haha .Takecare , :)
