Seriously nobody will ever feel the way I'm feeling right now. Nobody would understand and feel the pain that I have been suffering all the while. He seriously ruined my entire life and future. & I am just down with luck to have him in my life for once.

I was once very motivated and even made plans for my future. But ever since I got involved with him, life totally changed. I've been wasting my time crying all night long without anyone knowing. I have skipped school just to meet him at times. In the end, all I got was a fucked up ending.

Try imagine your boyfriend was so heartless to make you cry in public yet he refused to lend you his shoulder just because of his pride. Have you ever experience having a sensitive boyfriend who gets mad at you just because you check your phone after a movie for missed calls/texts? He even malign you for having contact with other guys. Would your boyfriend force you to do the stuffs that you dislike, and tell you that if you refuse to listen means you don't love him. -,=|||!

I want to announce to the whole world that he is a bad guy. All the while I know I have been pestering him like some irritating girl but I have a fucking reason for it. You know what, I have wasted one month with him and within this period of time he actually requested for almost 18 times of breakup. Yes, I mean it. 18 - 20 times! He can fucking do anything for the sake of all his needs. Alright, I may sound like one xiaoahlian_93/minahhh, whatever you call it. But I just couldn't take it anymore.

Thanks to you, I have lost the purpose of my life. All the motivation and determination to fulfill my dreams are gone. I have failed to done my mum proud too. Now, I am always thinking negatively every night before I sleep, I would always recall back all those dirty stuffs that you used to do to me. I was so foolish and dumb to cut myself on my wrist in the past and now the scars remain.

Yes you deserve to go hell, like seriously .Go have fun with his English speakings girls before i curse you to hell .
(Well , i strongly in Karma. You'll get your retribution soon )

Thanks les for correcting this post.

“People come, people go – they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.” The Rescue, Nicholas Sparks

"…"

Crying yourself to sleep ,
Not knowing who to trust ,
Questioning your purpose on this world ,
Feeling like you’re not good enough ,
Disappointing people you love ,
Remembering memories that left you hurt for a long time ,
Feeling like no one understands you ,
Being treated the way you don’t deserve ,

Truly , Madly , Deeply .

“好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定
究竟爱我还是逃避

Sorry 我还是不会放弃爱你”

Our second ,

I've decided not to continue my 30Days challenge anymore .
Goodbye .

Day 2 — Your Crush

Things started to change just right after i broke off with B . For once,I managed to move on just real fast.Probably because of the heavy burdens and dirty past i had with him .
Well , since i find it pointless to cry over the spilled milk, I should then learn to let it go and move on fast .
I know this is not the real me . I mean , Mayling love living in the past . But that doesn't mean she can't have a crush for now .

I met this guy through Johnathan , just at the day when i was about to go for Azzura event . I remember he was with john , just nearby my house void deck slacking . It was dark at night , but well , just love at first sight when i saw him .
He's not any hot hunk out there , but just a very decent typical guy .I barely could explain why , but just , like that lo . lol .

I remember i text-ed john to find out more about his background just right after we parted . Then he used john's phone and replied ' nice to meet you btw. hope to see you around" ( if I'm not wrong ) . At first i thought , we won't be able to see each other again. But who knows , the following night we met ! John called me out to downtown to join him and co., including my crush , for their friend's chalet cum watch fifa soccer match @ downtown mac . I remember he was the one, not john , but him, who came and fetch me at the bus stop .
For all of a sudden at mac , he asked if anyone wanna accompany him to the nearest atm machine to withdraw money . At that point of time i could feel something fishy . He was trying to be indirect ,(even john could feel that way , i guess? Haha) But I was afraid to take the first move. So yup, john was the one who accompanied him in the end . Then , he used john's phone to call me up for all of a sudden ,just to inform me that he'll come back later as the nearest atm machine could not withdraw $20 but only $50 . So he have to search high and low for another atm machine. Meanwhile,he asked if i wanna drink anything . Just so random that he would be the one calling .
So, in the morning after john and i had sent him to take his 161 bus . I started questioning john and ask for the whole story & more about him .

Days later ,John happen to see the both of us online on msn. So he tried to be our matchmaker by adding the both of us up on a same conversation window. Immediately , idk why i reacted that way but to close that window. Soon after , john added again and this time round, he was the one who closed the window and left us two chatting. So he took the initiative to add me up on msn , & i remember our topic was about our " goals in life/future",lol !
Continuously , we started to text one another up . Daily but not all the time .& Idk why he would never fail to call me up before he sleep or after a fifa soccer match had ended . (I didnt ask him to do that btw ) Once, john and i even stayed over at his place just to watch Fifa . & To be honest , because of him, i started watching soccer and even set bets on it ! Hahaha .

To be continue , but i'm not going to .... :>


So , he's my current crush . Well , to be frank , I'm still not ready to step into another r/s . But I would say that things are going quite smoothly for both the both of us, :)
Actually , i do not intend to post this up but well , I've to be honest ya?Even if i were to keep it low profile now , sooner or later, this secret would definitely being revealed or perhaps we would be officially together one day, hahaha .(dream on Maylingggg)

Oh well ,Many people may know that i love or rather have many crushes on my mind just in a shot .I another way to phrase that, I may still have interests with all my ex boyfriends or what so ever .
But now, i really understand by " What's yours is yours " . No point holding on a love that hurts or won't last . I , must really learn how to move forward all the way instead of staying right there , dreaming/stoning , waiting for that stupid miracle to happen ( even though i really wish that to happen still , :/ )

Whatever it is , crush can just be a crush , & that's it .
So , life's unpredictable & i really do not know what will happen next.

Day2-COMPLETED .

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

How would i define "best friend" in the first place?Well ,I used to have a few but I guess i could no longer trust them anymore ...


I am sure all of us do make friends in life . For me , I remember myself experiencing to have"best friends" was like way back to pri3-4? When I met Xiao Wei and then Carissa during my p5 days ...

[XiaoWei @ most left(1st photo) and Carissa in th middle(second photo) ]


We used to share a diary (with passcode somemore ) . We gossip about all kind of stuffs in there , especially about our crushes , lol ! &&& we do words hunt/snake&ladder too . Damn memorable seriously . Oh ya , i remember we have to sign out after every entry post if not we have to pay each other fine (10cents/$1) i forgot , lol.(we even quarreled over that few cents lo, >< ) Also , i remember got one period of time where xiao wei and i would meet up early in the morning, & head to carissa's place just to practice for our F.I.R dance-Performing "fly away" for our class during one of the music lesson for school audition if i'm not wrong .

During recess, we would never failed to sit together . Standard meals : Fish ball noodle soup -60cents( one fish ball for 10 and 1 meatball for 20cents,lol!) , Chicken nuggets from Malay stall at 30cents each(best!) , honeydew after our meal at 30cents each , or at times tibits like bear choc cookies or whatsoever la. haha ! I remember one of our classmate , eugene , would never fail to queue up for his lor mee bigbowl every recess manzx , even if the queue is fcuking long . lol . Carissa and i would never fail to da bao rice everyday after school one . alot of meat plus egg plus veg at only $1.80 ! (arghhh so miss it ) .

Sometime in the afternoon, we would gather some of our primary schoolmates who stay nearby Carissa . For eg chunhow , jason , carrie , minting etc , and we started making water bombs and to play at the second level , lol ~ Oh ya ! We made a fool out of ourselves by playing block catching , and caused a few residents to complain. haha !

Well , this is life . It's kinda disappointing at first to see both my best friends getting into an Express stream after Psle where i'm stuck at N.A stream , & went on separate ways . Now , I'm glad that i would be able to keep in touch with them as carissa has got her own hp (like finally la , haha ) . Also , i get to bump into xiaowei at times at the compassvale lrt too :) Again, both of them are already graduated and got promoted up to another level (poly) , where i'm here , rotting at pei hwa sec still , taking my O's this year .... Hopefully , I would be able to get into TP . sighhhh*




Things had started to change during my secondary school days . I remember Bylene was the first person that i had approached to talk to as both our siblings studied at the same tuition centre and both of us became theirs maid where we're the one who send them for tuition , lol . However , i started hanging out with this new friend of mine , Eunice A.ll .



I know we used to quarrel alot , seriously way too much at times. But with her, i dont know why i became more daring than before, as i always got bullied ( especially by the seniors when i first stepped into the school ) . Early in the morning , i would meet her at her place and take another bus to school .After school, at times, we would head to hougang point for lunch . Rotiprata , mac , foodcourt , or even shop around .

A year later , Chuling joined in and soon , we became a clique of threesome yo . We hangout almost everyday , regarding in school or after school.

( this was taken near Eunice's place. Spike hair leh somemore. hahah !)


& i remember we bought this wallet together at Bishan , together with a hp pouch ,( i still have it with me ) ...


This was the first time we went out without wearing our uniform. lol. To meet the guys if i'm not wrong , :)



& this i'll never forget , the very last photo we took together ... with such sweet smile on our face...


Due to some misunderstandings , we girls parted and decided to go our own ways . However , at times , Chuling and i would still catch up with one another, & soon we became the closest sister/friend during that period ...

( She used to be called my dumb sotonq mei as she's super blurrrr . REAL BLUR I SWEAR)

We went Sentosa for suntanning (even though i'm real tanned already ),


We chilled at Starbucks after school ...

& we shared those fun and laughter together




I had even did a DIY Birthday card for her , & she promised to paste it up on her wall in her room, haha !

& she even took a picture of it to prove to me as evident, haha ! cute



However , again , there's misunderstanding with the both of us too and we really parted our own ways , just like that .
I've tried all ways to salvage this f/s / sistership . But to no avail; it doesn't work.

(This was what i give to her after some misunderstandings , & i thought everything would turn out well but still... just that cold towards one another ...)

Fortunately , after a year or so without talking to Eunice , we started talking last 2 years? After quarrel for a year going 2 too? haha ! For chuling's case , we've always been talking but just a little cold towards one another during the year where we just drifted much apart ...

Now , I'm glad that everything's back per normal ... I do meetup with Chulez for movie or so , but also get to go on a date out with eunice, porridge @ chinatown , remember? :)
Well , though the both of them are still not talking to one another. But i hope , one day ,miracle do happen ya ? Perhaps just let the nature takes it course then ....


Dear Chulez , thanks for trying to be there even though you do not know how to cheer someone up , lol . Thanks for the DIY birthday card too , & of course for always helping me to get cigarettes at your station , lol . I hope , even after we had graduated and would really go on our own ways , we would still keep in touch and meet up at times to chill or what so ever ya? No matter what if you need anything, i'm just a call away , (L)

& For my dear Eunice S.e , thanks for your everything just right from the start when i first stepped into the school. You should have seen it coming that we would end up this way . Well , Though the misunderstandings and conflicts stand at a higher position than our happy memories, but no matter what I hope we're still the disiao siao and not dao de S.e okay .
For the past years , You've taught me lots of stuffs that could be applied in my life .Also , You get to see me changing new bf like as if I'm changing my own clothes in school,lol . ( all your fault , for asking me to stick with the guys than the girls . I remember you saying that with girls , you would always get into misunderstandings all the time , whereas to compare with the guys , the guys would try any ways just to cheer us girls up at times. Doing silly stuffs etc . Will never forget all those jokers in the n2 class , haha !
Shall treat you eat at chinatown after O's . & don't forget my wang wang drink too ! ^^




Day 1 -COMPLETED .

3rd August 2010
Happy 34th Birthday Joanne !
& Happy sweet 16th Birthday Ruth








10th August 2010
Young NTUC Celebrates!National Day
@Marina Bay






















14th August 2010
With ShikinShika @ Anchorvale ,
Vivo w/ Mich & Raine