Need2bestronger

I thought i was strong enough to move on

I thought i was strong enough to escape the reality

I thought i was strong to put that smile on my face

I thought .. but I'm not.

I believe nobody's reading this space of mine so whatever ~ This is my favourite month of the year but this year , this month became the worst. To be feeling so shit and weak and knowing the truth just hurts. Health got worsen and everything just don't seem to be going the right way. Birthday in 6 days and there's nobody to be with me on this special day to make me feel special and important just for a day.

The world is a stage. People are the actor and actress.Today's my off day to be the actress and to pour this feeling out. Life may not be perfect but why can't my life be close to perfect? Why can't i be happy with what i have and always the one to be lagging in life. I do whatever I can to the people around me just to see them smile, and what did i benefit back in return?

This month have been really down for me to know so much truth of myself and the people around me. I fear death . I fear to leave the people whom i care, especially my mum. But, do they fear to not have me anymore when I'm gone?

This time bomb in my life is killin' me inside out. And i really wish it would not explode that fast.*fingercross*

My role in life is a clown / joker, especially when I'm posting this out to make a fool of myself.

If only...